The Basic Stress Free Breakfast AKA Perfect Bacon & Eggs + Oven Smashed Hash

Normally I wouldn’t post something so basic. But this here is all about methods to keep madness at bay!

I have been doing it all wrong forever! And I have finally found the easiest way to make good ole bacon & eggs while not having a conniption. Don’t get me wrong my bacon & eggs were tasty. But man it would take way too much time, and make my kitchen a grease spatter mess while creating a mountain of pans to scrub a dub.

NO MORE!

Again I have Nyky to thank for directing me to two new-to-me methods! She taught me how to bake perfect bacon and roast smashed potatoes (which double here nicely as hash browns for breakfast with a few simple seasonings. But they are great steak for dinner too!).

Smashed Hash:

  • Boiled and cooled potatoes – we did 6 (medium sized white, red or yellow work great. I wouldn’t do Russets for this and baby potatoes are too small)
  • Rosemary crushed in palms
  • Onion flakes
  • garlic powder
  • cracked pepper
  • smoked or just good salt to serve

To make your morning stress free. Boil the potatoes the night before til just tender. Throw in a bowl and refrigerate over night.

Preheat oven to 400F. Put generous olive oil in a deep oven safe pan. Put potatoes in pan and smash down with masher. Drizzle on more oil. Sprinkle rosemary.

Put in oven for 20 mins. Then flip the potatoes to evenly distribute the oil. Put more rosemary on top. Bake for another 15 minutes…. Add onion flakes, garlic powder and cracked pepper. Now to get the bacon going!!! Keep roasting for another 15-25 minutes with the bacon til desired golden yumminess is achieved. Sprinkle with salt before serving.

Bacon:

  • Do I really need to tell you what you need? BACON (natural/  hormone / nitrite free is best!)

Line a cookie sheet with parchment. Spread strips out evenly not to overlap. Bake in oven on the rack just below the smashed hash for 20-25 minutes. Make sure to turn the pan at least once half way. This is a good time to drain some of the fat off into a wad of paper towel in a bowl (to compost later – do not put fat down sink!!!) To prevent a messy oven make sure to line another cookie sheet below it to catch any dripping fat. Mine didn’t drip but better safe than sorry .

Once done turn off the oven. You can let the hash and bacon hang out a bit to stay warm. You can also heat up some plates in the microwave now. (The only thing I use a microwave for – other than reheating my tea occasionally!)

While this is all happening make sure to get a pot of water and vinegar heating up. Once boiled turn down to medium low and keep hot for poaching eggs. I just eye ball the vinegar. (Ouch – don’t actually eye ball the vinegar!) But you can use the handy googlerizer from the ye olde internettes to get a ratio of how much vs water to use.

Perfect Poached Eggs:

  • Fresh eggs (as fresh as possibly – if the BBD says tomorrow I would get a new carton – they won’t hold up enough)
  • White wine, rice or white vinegar (whatever you got!)
  • Simmering water (enough to cover as many eggs as you are going to poach)

NOTE: microwave poachers are not poaching your eggs – there is no water involved – aka a marketing lie to make you feel good – but really all you get is a microwaved egg. And frankly. EW! Just don’t do it.

While your smashed hash and baked bacon is staying warm in the oven (which you have now turned off to stop actual cooking) you can poach your eggs! I like poached eggs with this because it is already a greasy breakfast why do we need more grease! Also you HAVE TO USE VINEGAR otherwise you will have a really gross flavourless scrambled egg soup on your hands!

Gently crack the eggs and drop into the medium low simmering water. Try to give as much space as possible so they don’t become one super multi-eyed egg monster.

While the eggies are sitting happy in the hot tub for a few minutes, you should start plating hash and bacon on warmed plates. Don’t wait for the eggs to be done. Then you risk over done or cold eggs while you do the other bits. So do the other bits while they cook! You can check by using a slotted ladle to lift them out and kind of roll them about a bit. If they look wobbly or any of white part looks kind of gooey then they are not done yet. It takes a few tries to get them perfect but once you do you just kind of know when they are done. Ladle out and let the water drip off.

Put eggs on the already partially plated… err plates.

And eat up with ALL OF THE CONDIMENTS! Ketchup, Sriracha, Hot sauce, HP, smoked salt, cracked pepper….you know the usual cast of characters!

ENJOY!

Boiled the night before these potatoes are getting oiled up and ready to roast!

Boiled the night before these potatoes are getting oiled up and ready to roast!

Smash the potatoes, add some rosemary and more olive oil.

Smash the potatoes, add some rosemary and more olive oil.

After 15-20 minutes turn them over, add more rosemary, garlic powder, onion flakes and pepper. Keep on cooking til crispy and golden!

After 15-20 minutes turn them over, add more rosemary, garlic powder, onion flakes and pepper. Keep on cooking til crispy and golden!

Look at all that beautiful bacon. It's not spattering all over your stove top, it's not driving you crazy with burnt edges and still fatty bits that curl up and won't cook properly. It's so evenly cooked eek!!! Let 'em stay warm while you make the eggs!

Look at all that beautiful bacon. It’s not spattering all over your stove top, it’s not driving you crazy with burnt edges and still fatty bits that curl up and won’t cook properly. It’s so evenly cooked eek!!! Let ’em stay warm while you make the eggs!

And here it is! Look at that bacon all in a row! I barely had to pay attention to the potatoes or the bacon. I sat and drank my tea! I didn't get a photo of the eggs because they cook so quikly I didn't want to risk over cooking. But here they are in all their medium-easy glory.

And here it is! Look at that bacon all in a row! I barely had to pay attention… I sat and drank my tea and it didn’t get a chance to get cold! I didn’t get a photo of the eggs because they cook so quickly I didn’t want to risk over cooking. But here they are in all their medium-easy glory.

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